BREAKING NEWS: The Movie Bandit has struck again. I left the townhome for an hour of Mozart & Candy Crush on the Stairstepper, and upon my return, I discovered that my sorted, stacked selection of documentaries was no longer on the dining table. The scoundrel left no clues, other than an apparent penchant for thoroughness, for he stole not only those documentaries I had removed and stacked on the table, but also every other documentary that remained shelved in my DVD collection. Insult to injury, he also took my Deluxe Anniversary Edition of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Is nothing sacred?!
See more The Rocky horror picture show 45th anniversary shirt
I’m left with only one conclusion: This is the work of a criminal mastermind. Taking it for a sign, I suggested to Angel that we should see the New Year in by watching all of the Pink Panther movies. Angel promptly suggested, “Or Mission Impossible.” And then I realized the three Austin Powers movies would make a perfect complement to Pink Panther… to which Angel repeated, “Or Mission Impossible,” as though I didn’t hear him the first time. I should mention that our DVD collection is alphabetized and organized by genre, with an Excel spreadsheet crossindexing them with actors, directors and every other variable you could imagine.
Which makes this entire experience more perplexing than Stonehenge or the Kennedy assassination. To his credit, Angel — mindful of my growing distress over the looming failure of tonight’s movie marathon — bolted upstairs to retrieve the Pink Panther and Austin Powers movies. The Rocky horror picture show 45th anniversary shirt is available. Appearances are deceiving; I would have never guessed he could move so quickly. I’d hardly arrived at the third-floor landing when he greeted me with a look of utter disappointment, regretfully informing me that they, too, were missing.