HEY Unicunt, why don’t you climb In your Douche Canoe, cry me a river & float away ?!. The Yirmibesgolu family came to visit me all the way from Istanbul, and I was so happy to see them. The three girls were all lovely, fun, and sweet. They played with me and walked with me and let me lick them and climb onto the couch with them and hop on their beds – in other words, they were the perfect houseguests. Except for one thing. Today they are leaving, and it’s much too soon.
See more Hey Unicunt why don’t you climb in your Douche canoe shirt
Having girls in the house is so different. For the first time ever, we had an equal number of males and females, and it was kind of nice. And I was the perfect gentleman, and a perfect host. Here is a list of things I didn’t do: 1. I did not eat the stuffed animals they brought with them. I guess I really shouldn’t take credit for this one, since the only reason I didn’t eat them is because they put them up on the bookshelf to keep them away from me. I consider any stuffed animal brought into this house as a gift for me, and it becomes my personal property. The girls did not agree with this philosophy.
2. I sniffed around and stuck my nose into their suitcases several times, but I didn’t not destroy any of their belongings. This was hard for me because I really like the way they smell. It took a lot of restraint on my part not to chew on their things, but I managed it. 3. Even though they left me alone the ENTIRE day yesterday and went sightseeing, I did not get upset with them. I was, however, a bit jealous. They went on something called a Ducky Tour. I want to go on a Ducky Tour. Why can’t I go on a Ducky Tour?
Cry me a river & float away ?!
4. Other than when we went for a walk together, I was not a douche canoe. And, even on the walk, I was only a douche canoe when we saw other dogs. I think that is rather impressive. On a scale of ten being an ultimate douche canoe and one being as un-douche canoe-y as possible, I’d say I was about a three the whole visit. Not bad at all. I think I’d like to live in a house with nine people in it….or even ten. I love having it full of people and noise and laughter. I wonder if we can convince the Yirmibesoglus to stay just a little longer. I know where they keep their stuffed animals. I may have to hide them. That might actually work. That would raise my douche canoe level back up to about a seven or eight, but it might be worth it.